'Dark Shadows' Film Review By Joan Alperin Schwartz For those of you, like myself, who aren't familiar with the television series 'Dark Shadows' which ran from 1966-1971, here are the film's cliff notes... The year...1750 (give or take) A wealthy young man named Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp) gets it on with his maid, Angelique (Eva Green) who just happens to be a witch...She feels the love...He...not so much. Witch gets pissed...Turns Barnabus into a vampire, locks him in a coffin, which she then buries deep in the ground. Still not satisfied, Angelique kills Barnabus's one true love, as well as his parents, and then, she spends the next two centuries destroying the rest of his family. This is one witch with major anger issues. Now, let's fast forward to 1972. For those of you, too lazy to do the math...two hundred years have past....Thanks to a group of construction workers, Barnabas is released from his coffin. He thanks the workers by eating them... After quenching his a! ppetite, Barnabus makes his way back home...But his super sized mansion known as Collingswood, is not exactly as he remembers. The once grandly estate is now dilapated filled with old furniture in need of a good dusting, a dirty chandelier and...the Collins descendents...who are in no particular order... Matariarch, Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer)...her rebellious teenage daughter, Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz), Roger, (Jonny Lee Miller), Lizzie's bum of a brother, his precocious 10 year old son, David
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